CHAPTER 59

Original (published on Evergreen News): 2006-04-06

Rewritten: 2025-06-26

Even if I cannot recover from my illness, I cannot disappear silently, leave this world depressed, and leave a bitter and helpless memory to those who care about me.

Last year (2005), during the process of experiencing primary liver cancer, I realized that being an obedient patient can make myself and those who care about you live a more comfortable life.

Of course, a person will not feel good when he is seriously ill. In fact, for those who care about you, the blow they suffer is not less than you. The deeper their feelings for you, the greater the blow they suffer. The simplest reason is that they don’t know how to alleviate your pain and suffering, and can only watch you suffer. Those who love and care for you all hope to do something for you, to make you feel better and feel more comfortable.

When a patient is seriously ill, he or she is physically and mentally exhausted. Many of the things that he or she used to do by himself or herself are now impossible or dare not to undertake, and he or she has to ask others to do it for him or her. The substitutes are often his or her closest relatives and friends. If the patient cannot let go, his or her mood will naturally become worse and his or her will will become more depressed. He or she will personally experience his or her own inability to do things, and feel guilty about burdening others. What's worse, the patient will seem to witness himself or herself gradually withdrawing from the stage of life, and the scene that life will eventually end, and the vacancy left behind will be filled by others.

In fact, if the patient persists in such negative thoughts, the people who care and love you will suffer great pain and feel helpless. For them, the greatest pain is that you are unhappy and uncomfortable, and refuse to accept their care and service. When we love someone with all our heart, we don’t care about his situation or what difficulties he encounters. The most important thing is that we can care for him without any worries. It’s like a disabled person. His defects become the reason for us to take extra care of him.

People with serious illness can still make people around you happy. That is, you accept others’ care and concern for you with peace of mind. This is your most appropriate return. I am grateful for other people’s greetings, and I don’t hide my illness. The purpose is to avoid unnecessary speculation and allow others to choose the appropriate way to respond to your situation.

I am also very grateful to my relatives and friends for providing information on diet therapy and supplements. I make choices from a normal mind and common sense. I accept my wife’s arrangements in all aspects of life, especially reminding me to rest more, not to work long hours, eat nutritious and light food, etc.

My wife has to continue to take care of our eldest son with special needs and our 13-year-old younger son, and do more chores. I see that she is working hard, but I don’t pretend to be strong because this will only increase her worries.

Just let yourself "take orders" to rest and live a peaceful life. Now that I have come to this point, I must learn to let go of my possessions, work, chores and money, and focus on my health wholeheartedly. Even if I cannot recover from my illness, I cannot disappear silently, leave this world in a depressed mood, and leave a bitter and helpless memory to those who care about me.