CHAPTER 37

Original (Published in "Lun's World"): 2006-02-06

Rewritten: 2025-11-18

Nearly twenty years ago, just before Lun officially moved into the residence, his kidney stone pain flared up again. At the time, I blamed myself for not forcing him to drink two liters of fluids every day during those months.

That night, I dreamed I was holding a small child. It felt very comforting. When I woke up early in the morning, the memory was vivid. I thought I must have been missing my seven-month-old niece; she looks so much like her father—my fourth younger brother. As I was gathering my thoughts, I heard Lun  calling. Before I had time to react, he called again, the calls coming quickly and loudly. I knew something was wrong—that was the sound of discomfort. I ran to his room. He was lying on the bed, looking up at me, pulling my hand toward his stomach to press on it.

I suddenly remembered the scene from last summer (2005) when his kidney stone attack occurred. Seeing how pale he was, my heart sank. It must be kidney stone pain again. I blamed myself—how could I have been so naïve, thinking all his stones had already passed? In these months, we had both relaxed again, no longer supervising him to drink two liters of fluids every day.

My wife hurried over as well. We fed him the pain medication prescribed by the doctor, but soon he vomited, even throwing up the painkiller. We had no choice but to give him anti-nausea medication, but it didn’t help much. He vomited intermittently and looked terribly miserable. When his stomach hurt, I asked him, “Pain?” He answered firmly, repeating, “Pain.”

It happened to be a public holiday, so our family doctor’s clinic was closed. If we took him to a walk-in clinic, the wait would be at least one or two hours, and the clinic wouldn’t have the equipment to handle his level of pain.

He was in so much pain that he himself cried out, “Hospital, take medicine.” We decided to take him to the local hospital. He cooperated fully, quickly changing his clothes and following us to the car.

The hospital was packed because of the holiday. We waited more than two hours before entering the examination room. During that time, we stayed beside him. He called out from time to time, but not loudly. He was exhausted. Like a small child, he sat on my lap, resting his head on my shoulder.

A nineteen-year-old boy, 5 foot 2—holding him felt like holding an oversized baby. Suddenly I thought of my dream the night before—the little child I held wasn’t my niece, but my own son, Lun, who would never grow up in some ways. This moment wasn’t a dream. This time, he fully understood that the hospital was a place that would help relieve his pain. He cooperated completely and followed every instruction from the medical staff. He even pulled down his gown by himself so the nurse could give him a pain-relief injection. The doctor prescribed another painkiller as backup.

Once the medication took effect, Lun stopped vomiting. After resting for a while, we went home. Back in bed, he smiled.

Two days later, an ultrasound confirmed that both kidneys still contained stones. The hospital immediately arranged a CT scan, which showed a stone lodged between the right kidney and the bladder. The doctor said that if it caused a blockage, the pain would be excruciating. In the past month, he had already had three more attacks. Fortunately, the oral pain medication worked well and did not cause vomiting. Still, we worried constantly about when the next episode would strike. I felt anxious and unsettled. I continued to have dreams, waking up feeling empty, as if something inside me were missing. I would find myself covered in sweat. Thinking about it now, I suppose I’ll keep having the same dreams—better to let things take their course.