CHAPTER 87

2025-09-16

In a Christmas party during Grade Four, my younger son won a seven-pound turkey in a lucky draw. But he was far too shy to go up on stage to collect his prize.

As I mentioned in Article 111, when he first joined the Scouts, he had always been a bystander—watching but not participating. One day on the way home, however, he reported to me that a newly joined Scout had been behaving very badly. That was when I realized he had, at least mentally, entered the group. The Scout program had already begun to take root in his heart.

At the start of Grade Two, he was cooperative in putting on his neatly pressed uniform and reporting to the school gym for Scout meetings. But he would then quietly return to a bench near the entrance, sit down, and prepare to remain just an observer.

I thought to myself: he must make some progress. I remembered when he was four, right after the summer holidays, he returned to daycare but refused to sit with the other children. He hid in a corner. Back then, I tried to motivate him by pointing out: “You are now in the senior group, not a newcomer anymore. If you don’t sit with your classmates, people will mistake you for a new student.” Surprisingly, this worked. He was willing to sit with his peers of the same grade, and I, as his father, felt deeply comforted.

My guess was that after an entire year, earning the status of “old student” was an honor for him, one that he had to defend with his actions. With that precedent, I used the same approach again. I reminded him that this year, he had advanced from a Beaver to a Cub. If he sat alone on the bench, the new Beavers would think he was one of them. Since he was shy mainly out of fear of embarrassment, being mistaken for someone who had “stayed back a grade” would be even more humiliating. To save face, he would have to change his behavior. Even so, his feet were hesitant, reluctant to move.

I quickly “raised the stakes” by assuring him I would accompany him into the group, though as a parent and an “adult,” I would sit a little farther away. I believed the Scout leaders would allow this, and indeed they did. I accompanied him three times, each time sitting farther from him. On the fourth meeting, I watched him enter the group on his own, then whispered, “Daddy will go home first and come back at eight to pick you up.” He nodded and carried on with the activity.

When I arrived home before seven, my wife immediately knew the situation: our younger son had succeeded this time. From then on, he continued with Scouts and later joined the Army Cadets, staying involved for a total of twelve years.

These types of group activities, which emphasize teamwork and discipline, are especially helpful for the growth of a younger child who is shy, cautious, and hesitant. In disciplined organizations, everything is clearly laid out with rules and frameworks. Actions are taken according to role, rank, experience, and authority, leaving little room for disputes or the burden of making decisions alone. By following established guidelines in practice, one gradually builds courage, social skills, communication ability, and leadership qualities without even realizing it.

In the Army Cadets, members automatically retire upon reaching their nineteenth birthday. Two weeks before that day, at the annual graduation ceremony one weekend in early June, he appeared in the community center’s skating rink wearing the traditional red-and-green Scottish ceremonial uniform.

From the audience stands, his grandparents proudly watched their once-shy grandson, now striking in bearing, march at the head of a unit with several other leaders. Accompanied by the sound of bagpipes, they gave commands and performed the drill. His grandparents were overjoyed, saying the sight alone made the trip worthwhile.