CHAPTER 107

2025-11-21

At this moment, the relationship between father and son is calm and steady. But looking back over the past nine years, life was anything but tranquil — more like a lone sail tossed by the wind, a fishing boat battered by relentless rain.

The Recovery Phase

As mentioned earlier, from February 2017 — after I was discharged from treatment for a traumatic brain injury — until December 31, 2024, I was technically on extended medical leave. The first year at home became a period of healing: adapting to a new rhythm of life, slowly regaining what had been lost — short-term memory, concentration, comprehension, strength, stamina, and a fragile emotional balance. There was progress.

The Overworked Phase

As my parents aged, various urgent issues surfaced. When my mother fell gravely ill, my two brothers and I had to take turns escorting her to the hospital’s day clinic for treatment. Later, my fourth brother and I arranged for her to move into a nursing home. Once she was settled, we took our father to visit her every day. But loneliness soon weighed on him, triggering anxiety and difficulties coping with living alone.

The Frustration and Heartache Phase

After my mother entered the care home, everyone except my fourth brother and I seemed concerned only with how the future inheritance might grow. On every other matter, they remained silent. We had no idea what they thought — even when I told them that our mother was unlikely to live another year.

My father, still healthy and alert, did not qualify for a government-subsidized care facility. With his consent, we arranged for him to move into a private retirement residence. When I informed my brothers, there was again no response.

Truthfully, disappointment outweighed anger.

The Estrangement Phase

Less than a month after my father moved in, the four brothers who had contributed nothing financially questioned the cost of his lodging. I cut ties in anger, responding only to legal and administrative matters thereafter.

A month later, they privately arranged for my father to visit a lawyer and bank to alter important documents. When this came to light, I relied on my social-work training and submitted a detailed complaint to the Public Guardian and Trustee — the government body responsible for safeguarding the rights of vulnerable seniors. After a six-month wait, the case was accepted, and the government assumed supervision of my mother’s finances. During this period, my fourth brother and I remained constantly vigilant, safeguarding our parents’ interests. Those days were anything but easy.

The Critical Illness Phase

Not long after the government accepted the case, acute depression swept over me — March 2019. This time it was more than a cognitive setback; I had nothing left to hold myself up. In June 2019, I was hospitalized again. Mid-month, Hong Kong was engulfed by unprecedented turmoil.

Half a year after discharge, by the year’s end, I was improving. But just as I regained footing, the world was blindsided by the emergence of the coronavirus. Global upheaval made life even more difficult. At the same time, my wife faced growing challenges in her complex work environment and had to consider changing careers. By some strange stroke of timing, my recovery happened just swiftly enough for us to weather this storm together — a quiet, unexpected blessing.