A Rather Different World

In the follow-up appointment two weeks after the blood draining operation, I reported to the surgeon an interesting feature that whenever I started thinking, I felt blood being pumped with rhythm up to the top left of my brain. Especially when I read documents, books and newspapers, just after a few lines, in Chinese or English, pain attacked my left brain and stopped me from reading. I rested a short while before reading again. The pain returned. This feature lasted for half a year.

 

The doctor smiled with big opened eyes, said, “You can feel your thinking?...” I didn't think this way, but very likely I could be the first patient making this kind of report. The doctor recognized the continuous seeping of blood inside my skull. He instructed me to stop taking blood thinner, i.e., baby aspirin, and the seeping would stop. Besides, I could return to my lifestyle before the operation. Follow up was to be done by a family doctor. Next appointment was not needed. My wife and I left the clinic happily. 

 

How could I work if I could not read documents? By then after ten o'clock every night, my whole right arm and hand would experience “electric like” mild shock for about ten minutes that immobilizes my arm. Luckily I didn't need to drive while recovering at home. This condition finally stopped after more than a month.

 

On the whole, I have lost almost three quarters of my physical and mental stamina which rendered me incapable of returning to work shortly. I had no clue how long such conditions would last. My wife had a big worry. Upon the degree of my injury, it was impossible for me to return to the state of performance before, and certainly would be worse in the short term. How long could colleagues accommodate and tolerate the decline of work progress, individually and collectively. My physical and mental rehabilitation would be hampered by prolonging this unsettled state of work. It could even be a harder blow to me if I was asked to leave.

 

I have worked full time since 1990. By the end of the year Lun was diagnosed to suffer from autism. Life became increasingly difficult in daily life management, emotion, mental strength, energy, and finance. We were stretched to the limit with my health weakened to contract diseases multiple times. By that moment, there was little left in me. I was balancing myself on a very thin line. The threat of no return haunted me if I didn't seek to help myself this time. 

 

In this case, I chose to bid and apply for the extended benefit, i.e., the disability insurance of the agency I worked for. I took a new turn on my life journey.